Heart beats fast, and breathing was narrowed. Trying to stay away from a situation that he fears. Brain cannot relax, and every move the mind tricks it means anything. Even just sitting down, doing nothing, the brain says such act has a meaning. But the innerness of the heart is he's a good person.
Walking with the brain counting every step, at least the last number would be something the mind says the right one. Washing his clean hands until his mind says stop. Words he doesn't want to blurt out, and it makes him feel he's a bad person.
He doesn't mean anything with every act he did even he was accused by his mind of him being bad. He doesn't mean any bad words crossing his mind because it's just an intrusion. Concealing to avoid getting laughed at for his irrational fears. Silence because of stigma. Judgment isn't what he needs. He just wanted to feel better. He just wanted peace of mind. But it seems unattainable.
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